All I Can Say (One Shot)
by NALEY23alwaysforever
Summary: ONE SHOT. LINSTEAD. She shouldn't be here. She knew that. But she couldn't help herself. They were drawn to each other, or at least, she was drawn to him


**All I can say (One Shot)**

**A/N: hey lovely readers! i haven't uploaded in CPD fanfictino for a while, I've been working on a multi-chapter One tree Hill story. I'm considering writing a CPD story though so if anyone's got suggestions you'd like me to write let me know. Enhoy this little fic in honour of Chicago PD being back after it's month long break! I don't know about you guys but I agree with the hashtag. Chicago PD is back, and it's better than ever. And holy crap the promo for next episode!? AHH I'm still flipping out over it. **

**PS: I kinda borrowed a scene from an episode of greys anatomy - although some of the words are slightly different. Let me know in your review if you know which one **

**The title is inspired by jimmy eat worlds song "Kill"**

**:)**

**Enjoy!**  
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Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago PD (or Grey's Anatomy in this story either), nor do I own the characters (unfortunately).  
**  
She shouldn't be here.

She knew that. But she couldn't help herself.  
She knew she had hurt him when she ended things with him, or in his words "cool off".  
But she couldn't help it. they were drawn to each other, or at least, she was drawn to him.

It had been a rough day at work. Intelligence had been hired to solve the murder of a father and the abduction of his daughter Jessie. Turns out the daughter had gotten involved with the wrong people at a party, and her father offered himself up to spare her life, it didn't matter to them. They had pretty much hacked him up into pieces, and then taken his daughter just because they could. They had found her in a massive storage container, tied up and beaten in a corner.

Erin remembered watching her run into her boyfriends arms and cry as he comforted her. She couldn't help but think of Jay. She hasn't slept since their break up.

So here she was. At his door. She knew she shouldn't be but she just couldn't stay away. Before she knew it she banged her fist against the door thrice, and within ten seconds he was standing in the doorway looking at her.

She smiled and greeted him.

"What are you doing here?" Jay asked as she walked inside.

"Honestly, I don't know." She whispered.

"Seeing Jessie today with her boyfriend, watching her be able to be in his arms and let him comfort her. I just-" she couldn't finish her sentence, feeling a lump in her throat as tears glistened her eyes, threatening to fall.

Jay gave her a sympathetic look and walked towards her, folding her in his embrace.

"Just because we're not willing to lose our jobs, doesn't mean I'm not here if you need me. You can always call me, you know that right?" He said and felt erin nod her head against his chest in response.

They stayed in their embrace, enjoying the silence and comfort they had both craved the past three days. Until erin broke it.

"Can I stay here tonight? I know we're not together but...I sleep better when you're here. I'd gotten used to you sleeping in bed with me." She asked

Jay smiled at her words, feeling his heart warm and his smile brighten. "Of course." He replied.

They were both curled up in bed facing each other. There faces were so close together they could feel each other's breath against them. They had been talking for a while after they got into bed, about anything and everything, but were now just sitting in the silence in their own thoughts.

"I can't remember our last kiss." Erin said

"What?" Jay asked, slightly confused by Erin's slightly random statement.

"I can't remember it. All I could think about all day after seeing Jessie and her boyfriend at the station was 'I can't remember our last kiss'. Which is pathetic I know, but the last time we were together and happy, I... Want to be able to remember that, and I can't Jay. I can't remember. And it hurts." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

He doesn't reply. He just sits at a loss for words. She's about to roll over to face away from him, tears threatening to fall from her eyes when he speaks.

"It was a Thursday morning." He starts, his voice cracking slightly as he recalls the moment "we didn't start until about midday for some reason. You we wearing that black hawks T-shirt of mine you always look so good in, the one with the hole in the back of the neck. You had just had a shower and I remember you smelling like dessert. Which sounds weird but that's why I remember it. Who smells like dessert?" He says as he chuckles a little before continuing.

"I was running late to meet Ruzek. You said you would see me later at work, and you leaned into me, put one hand around my neck, the other on my chest over my heart" he says as he places her hand where he says "and you kissed me. Soft, slightly quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And then you went back to reading the paper and eating your cereal, and I went to meet Adam. That was the last time we kissed." He finishes, now feeling slightly nervous at how emotional he just was with her considering they're not together anymore.

It's her turn now to be stunned into silence. She couldn't believe Jay could recall with such detail their kiss, he really did love her. She smiled as she remembered his words, _like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives._

She wanted that, she wanted their one day again. Without thinking she leaned in and they met halfway in an all consuming, passionate kiss, letting all their feelings pour out.

They pulled away breathless as erin spoke "vanilla and honey." He looked at her slightly confused. "Vanilla and honey. That's the scent of my body wash. That's what you could smell that day." She explained.

He smiled and quickly gave her another kiss before wrapping his arms around her waist tightly as she leaned her head on his chest, letting his heart beat soothe her.

"One day. I promise you, one day we'll be together. And it won't matter if hank likes it or not, although I'll try and get him on side. I already know what it's like to lose you because of hank and his rules, and I'm not willing to give you up again. So one day. one day you and I will be together again. I promise you." She said as she closed her eyes and buried her head further into his chest, as she started to drift.

Jay smiled. He knew they were - more or less - back to square one, but he felt more hopeful that this time around, they'd make it all the way. He kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear before drifting off as well.

"One day."

**A/N: ok! So I know it isn't heaps long but I've had a bit of CPD writers block after the Linstead break up. I actually started writing this the night of that episode but I was so upset I couldn't write it! Haha I know I'm obsessed but so what!? I hope you guys liked this one shot as much as I enjoyed writing it. PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!**

**\- Maddie :)**


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